


Things'll Get Better From Here

by shepardly



Series: Nate 'n MacCready [6]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Amputation, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and despite all that it's a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13322013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shepardly/pseuds/shepardly
Summary: Daisy needs MacCready and Nate to come to Goodneighbor right away, but the problem is that MacCready hasn't been seen in a while. A distraught Nate thinks he can take on the Commonwealth for a couple days on his own, but quickly realizes that choice might cost MacCready everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda breaking my own rules with this one... normally I put my characters back how I found them, and (spoilers?) fair warning that doesn't quite happen with this one, BUT it's my own Sole Survivor it happens to so does it really count??? 
> 
> Also, I brought Duncan into this. I went there. I didn't even want to, to the point where I have two different versions of this story written up but was assured that this version works. Duncan just kinda happened, and it was actually a lot of work to write him out, and turns out I didn't need to anyway, and I really like him, dammit. I hope you're cool with him too.

Daisy gave her store counter another wipe and eyed it critically while listening for any sounds from upstairs, but there was nothing but the usual sounds of chatter from the streets outside. She sighed heavily, and wondered yet again if her letter had gotten through. She had hoped this particular message would be a happy one, but with everything she had heard lately it sounded like it might be too late.

 

Something dropped upstairs and rolled for a few seconds before someone hurried to grab it, then all was silent again.

 

Daisy sighed. She really hoped it wasn’t too late.

 

Her doorway darkened, and she glanced up to see Nate, looking more ragged and hollowed eyed than she could ever remember seeing him.

 

“Look who the cat finally dragged in.” Daisy drawled, throat tight when she saw there was no one behind him. She knew how life was in the Commonwealth. People walked out one day, and sometimes they never came back again. Nate slowly came up to the counter to lean against it, obviously weary. “I see the rumours out of Diamond City must be true, then.”

 

Nate just stared at her gleaming countertop for a long moment before mutely nodding, and Daisy felt her heart plummet despite expecting it.

 

“I’m so sorry, Nate. I wouldn’t have asked you to come if it wasn’t important, but it is. And honestly, it’s better if I just show you. Come with me.”

 

***

A calm kind of numbness had settled over Nate’s brain as he walked into Goodneighbor, which he was grateful for, because the initial spike of _this is wrong, being here without RJ_ when he first saw the neon lights was just too much to handle right now. His eyes burned and his throat felt cracked and dry, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had drank or eaten anything.

 

When Daisy urged him upstairs, it was all Nate could do to put one foot in front of the other to climb the stairs, he was so tired, but he made it. He wasn’t sure what Daisy had asked him to Goodneighbour for, but he knew it had to be urgent. He had been sorely tempted to just ask someone else to go talk to Daisy and get back to him, but she had made it clear she wasn’t trusting her news to anyone but him and it couldn’t wait.

 

“Hey kiddo, I’m coming in with a friend, okay?” Daisy called as they got to the top, and Nate stopped dead when he saw the small, thin boy sitting on the bed. “Duncan, this is Nate. You can trust him. Nate, I think you know who this is.”

 

Nate felt like he had taken a punch to the gut. MacCready had claimed that his son took more after Lucy, but Nate could see him in Duncan’s eyes and mouth. The little boy slid off the bed and stood solemnly before them, clutching a red racecar that Nate recognized as the one that MacCready had tucked into the tin with the caps a couple months before.

 

Daisy nudged Nate, and he realized he was staring.

 

“Uh, h-hi.” Nate stammered. “N-nice to meet you, Duncan. I’ve heard lots about you.”

 

Duncan nodded but didn’t say anything. Nate knew from MacCready that he was about five years old, but he looked small for his age; likely from being so sick while so young, Nate didn’t doubt, and the thought broke his heart.

 

“He hasn’t said much since he got here.” Daisy said quietly to Nate. “Don’t take it personal.”

 

“Yeah. No problem. Uh, listen, I just need a minute. I’ll be right back.”

 

Nate clomped back down the stairs so fast he heard Daisy gasp, and he thought he heard a little voice ask her something. He didn’t hear her response, as he was already trying to stifle great heaving sobs, his frame shaking with the effort. Of all the deliveries… This, this was something that he hadn’t been thinking of today.

 

Daisy came down a few minutes later, and he wiped his eyes in a futile gesture as the tears kept flowing.

 

“How did…” He started hoarsely before swallowing hard. “What happened?”

 

“From what I understand, basically everything.” Daisy chuckled without humour. “After you boys sent the cure, Duncan got better, which meant he didn’t need to be in the hospital anymore, but you knew that. He got moved to an orphanage near there, because there wasn’t anywhere else, but as soon as MacCready heard about that he wrote to Lucy’s friend, Layla, and got her to take him in and started sending the caps with the caravan to her. But the caravan came back late last week with the boy, saying that Layla had to send him with her apologies. Her husband died when their house burnt down a couple weeks ago, and she can’t keep him anymore with no place to stay. Paid his way back with the caps MacCready sent with the caravan.”

 

“Shit.” Nate breathed, looking towards the stairs. “I can’t believe…”

 

“I’m sorry, Nate,” Daisy said again, “I know you have a million things going on right now, but I didn’t know what else to do and this is no place to keep a kid.”

 

“No, it’s okay, Daisy, you did exactly the right thing. Thank you. I’m glad you contacted me. This just isn’t… this isn’t how I pictured this going.” A fresh wave of tears started and he couldn’t stop it. “And I can’t believe he’s actually here. That trip must have been hell on him. He’s so young, and small, he could have been killed by a cold, let alone anything else…!”

 

Daisy actually came and gave him a quick but firm hug.

 

“Nate, what’s happened to you boys?” Daisy gently asked. “Where’s MacCready?”

 

“I don’t know, Daisy, and that’s the worst part.” Nate said hoarsely. “We were in Diamond City and ran into some settlers looking to move to Bunker Hill. Nick vouched for them, so RJ… MacCready volunteered to escort them over while I helped Nick finish up the case he was working on. I didn’t want him to go alone, but we had just been that way the day before and he talked me into it. They all made it there, but MacCready never made it back here to the Rexford, where we were gonna meet. That was nearly two weeks ago.”

 

“Damn.” Daisy looked away for a moment. “Clair said something about you being here looking for him, but then you just rushed off without saying anything, and Hancock never said anything either. We had no idea. What are you going to do? What’s going to happen with the kid?”

 

“I’ll take Duncan with me, I’ll take care of him. And I’m going to find RJ.” Nate said, a little more intensely than he intended. “He’s still out there. I’m not giving up.”

 

Daisy sighed. “I wish you luck, kid. You’re gonna need it.”

 

“I’m gonna need some supplies for him, for the trip back to the city. I should probably wait ‘til morning to head back, make sure we don’t get caught out after dark.” Nate fretted, checking the time on his PipBoy. “Do you mind keeping him one more night? I’ll find someplace to hole up, and come by in the morning to stock up and pick him up.”

 

“I’ll keep him safe, don’t you worry.” Daisy assured him. “You gonna go to the Rexford?”

 

“Something like that.” Nate told her, sliding her caps to cover her and Duncan’s costs as well as more for thanks. “Thanks, Daisy. I’ll be back in the morning.”

 

After he left her shop he had to step into the alley behind KL-E-0’s and stop for a moment to collect himself again, rubbing at his temples in an attempt to fend off the oncoming headache and scrubbing at his grimy face, knowing that it had to be tear-stained by now. He didn’t need to be walking into the Third Rail with that evidence on his face, not to talk to the type of people he needed to talk to.

 

Nate hadn’t been entirely honest with Daisy. Someone had seen MacCready after he had left Bunker Hill that afternoon; several someone’s, actually. One of the settlers had happened to look up the street in time to see him stop to talk to someone, and then he and the person had parted ways uneventfully. But what was unusual was that MacCready had turned right instead of continuing on straight on what would have been their usual path between the settlement and Goodneighbor.

 

But there was no trace of him after that. Nate had combed every street, every building, every alleyway, and he had had help from more than a few of his friends. He would have given anything to talk to the person that MacCready had spoken to last, just to know what had been said. Piper, Nick, Hancock were all on it, and Cait and Curie were doing their share as well. Preston had the Minutemen keeping their eyes and ears open for any word, but even with all of that, Nate still hadn’t heard from anyone.

 

It was like MacCready had fallen off the planet.

 

_Where are you, RJ?_

 

Nate straightened and set his jaw before heading into the Third Rail. He had some information to find out before he went to comb the streets some more. He had expected to be heading back to Diamond City that night, but he might as well use the rest of today and the long, sleepless night to do what he could before he took Duncan back to Diamond City.

 

It would be a long night, but it was better than the alternative of trying to find a bed and lying awake for hours, imagining MacCready lying dead somewhere, or worse, living through some fresh horror.

 

Nate shuddered and pressed on.

 

_I’m coming, RJ._

 

***

 

By the time Nate staggered back into Daisy’s shop in the morning, it was well after ten, his right eye was sporting what he knew had to be a hell of a shiner, and his ribs were aching. His night had not gone as smoothly as he had hoped, and he had only gleaned a sliver of information that would likely lead him to nothing.

 

“Good grief, Nate!” Daisy exclaimed when she saw him. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Nate sighed and waved her off. “I just asked the wrong question at the wrong time. Haven’t been in this game as long as you. Sorry I’m late. Is Duncan ready to go?”

 

“He is, but are you ready to be taking him? If you’re going to be running off half cocked I don’t want to be sending him out with you.” Daisy shook a finger at him. “What would MacCready say if he knew you were going out and making dumb mistakes like that?”

 

Nate nearly snapped back with ‘well he isn’t here, is he’ but stopped himself just in time, biting his tongue and taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. Daisy was right. Now was not the time to be running around like an idiot, and once he had Duncan in his care he had to be especially careful.

 

“He’d kick my ass, that’s what he’d say.” Nate admitted. “You’re right, Daisy. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful, I promise.”

 

Daisy eyed him critically, but relented. “Fine, you can take the kid. But if I hear that anything happened to either of you, I’ll come find you and kick your ass myself.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“I put some food aside in the kitchen for you and the kid for the trip back to Diamond City, and what few things he came with are there too. Go ahead and grab it while I go get Duncan.”

 

Nate went and packed the tin lunch kits and small pack while he waited, suddenly nervous. What if Duncan didn’t like him? He had no reason to, and had no reason to believe anything Nate said. Nate had been a parent for a painfully short time, and couldn’t say that he had much experience with small kids.

 

He wished again for the millionth time that MacCready was there.

 

Daisy and Duncan came down the steps, the small boy dressed warmly and practically with boots and jacket. Nate noted the neat and new looking patches, and added more caps to his ‘thank you’ pile to Daisy.

 

“See, you’re gonna go home with Mr Nate here.” Daisy explained to Duncan. “He’ll take good care of you, so you listen to him, okay?”

 

Duncan gravely nodded, and only hesitated for a moment before coming and taking Nate’s hand when he held it out. Nate felt his heart seize in his chest, and he realized how much this little boy had to trust to complete strangers.

 

“He’s a good friend of your daddy’s, so you can trust him.” Daisy finished. Duncan looked up at Nate with renewed interest at that but still didn’t say anything. The tiny child barely came to his waist, Nate realized then. 

 

It was going to be a long walk to Diamond City.

 

“Thanks again, Daisy.” Nate said, voice a little rougher than normal. “I’ll check in next time I’m back in town.”

 

“Sounds good, Nate. You two take care. And good luck.”

 

The trip felt painfully slow, but Nate led Duncan north towards the waterfront, taking the way he had been the most over the last couple weeks, knowing it would be the safest. It would take longer, but it would be worth it and he’d carry the kid if he had to.

 

They were within sight of the bridge when Duncan spoke for the first time, startling Nate out of his thoughts as he scanned the area and kept an eye on his PipBoy’s HUD for any trouble that may pop up.

 

“Are we going to my dad?” For how young and small he was, Duncan spoke clearly, something Nate was grateful for. The question caught him off guard, however, and he chewed his lip, considering how to respond as they continued walking.

 

“Not quite.” Nate said at last. “We’re going somewhere where he stays, sometimes, but he isn’t there right now, and I’m not sure when he’ll be back. Soon, I hope.”

 

Duncan seemed to consider this, then asked sadly, “did the bad guys get him?”

 

Nate missed a step, recovered. “I hope not, kid. Besides, we both know your dad is too good to let the bad guys just ‘get him’, right?”

 

Duncan brightened and nodded, skipping a few steps beside him and tightening his grip in Nate’s.

 

They got to the bridge and turned left along the waterfront, and hadn’t gotten far when Duncan suddenly gasped and yanked his hand from Nate’s grasp and bolted, scrambling over the crumbling canal wall and splashing into the filthy water before Nate could react.

 

“Duncan!” Nate yelped and went after him, already worried about the rads he could be taking from the water. He snatched Duncan and whatever it was he had picked up out of the water, and realized that the sodden object the child clutched was none other than MacCready’s signature hat. Duncan was wide eyed and panting, looking around frantically, and Nate joined his search, looking for any other signs of the sniper merc. Duncan took a deep breath, about to shout, but Nate quickly put a hand over his mouth.

 

“Shh, Duncan, we don’t know who else is out here. We have to stay quiet and _look_ for him, okay?” Nate whispered to him, making sure he was listening and understood. “We use our eyes, not our voices. And if we don’t find him soon, we’ll have to leave and I’ll come back with a bunch of my friends and we’ll find him, so don’t worry. But just stay quiet and stay with me.”

 

Duncan nodded, and Nate waded back to shore before letting him back down and taking his hand again. They continued upstream, keeping an eye on the water and along the shore for anything amiss. Nate’s heart was pounding, thoughts racing as a sick feeling settled in his gut. Had he missed something, all those times he had walked this trail?

 

“There! There!” Duncan tugged at Nate, pointing at a large storm drain pipe with a barred grate under a parkade of a large business building. A huddled form lay inside, making Nate’s heart stutter in his chest. Keeping Duncan behind him, Nate crept forward until he was close enough to confirm that it was MacCready, laying motionless in the large pipe.

 

“Dad! Daddy!” Duncan wriggled from Nate’s grasp again and easily slipped through the bars of the grate, flinging himself at MacCready and wrapping his arms around his neck. Nate heard a startled groan, then MacCready’s arm moved slowly, stiffly as he reached up to embrace his child.

 

“RJ! Can you hear me? Are you alright?” Nate had to reach through the bars, unable to fit through, and just barely managed to touch MacCready’s arm. Nate flicked on the light of his PipBoy, and the sniper blearily blinked at him from over Duncan’s shoulder, his arms now wrapped more securely around the kid but still not looking like he was quite aware of what was happening. The right side of his face was a mess of blood and bruises, and his jacket was an even bigger wreck.

 

“D-Duncan? Nate? You really here?” MacCready sounded uncertain but hopeful. “Th-think I’m dreamin’...”

 

“We’re really here, RJ, just hang on, I’m gonna get you out of there.” Nate slung his pack off to grab a Stimpack and jabbed it into MacCready’s bicep through his jacket, noting the bloodstained makeshift bandages wrapped around his knee, and wondering what other injuries he had hidden.

 

MacCready groggily pulled back to look at Duncan, his expression one of disbelief and wonder. “Duncan? You’re really… you’re really here?”

 

“Yeah, dad, and I found you!”

 

“Holy…” MacCready breathed as Duncan threw himself at him again and wrapped his arms around his neck in a bear hug, closing his eyes and hugging him back.

 

Nate tried the grate, yanking on the bars and inspecting the rusting bolts and latches.

 

“Nate,” MacCready suddenly said, like it was something he had forgotten until just now, “it’s a… a trap.” 

 

Nate leapt to his feet while drawing his pistol, looking around wildly for any signs of an ambush. It made sense, in a messed up way. He had been this way a dozen times, had walked right by this storm drain, and MacCready had never been here. So why this time, if not as bait?

 

But there was no one in sight, and nothing on his PipBoy. Nate crouched down again to whisper while still keeping an eye out.

 

“Are you sure? I don’t see anything.”

 

MacCready squeezed his eyes shut and frowned in confusion, still clinging to Duncan but he touched his bloodied forehead, hissing at the pain. “I… I don’t know. It- it was for me? They put me down a hole, and I… I don’t think they thought I’d be able to go far. But I crawled away, and then I walked, and thought I saw light, but it was just here. The grate is stuck, and I… I couldn’t get out.”

 

Nate breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, okay, that’s okay. They aren’t here, RJ. That gives us some time. Here, drink this while I get to work.”

 

MacCready slowly scooted closer to the grate and Nate pulled out a can of purified water, opened it and put it in MacCready’s shaking hand, and after a few seconds of observation wordlessly helped him lift his shaking hand and the can to his lips where he greedily gulped it down.

 

“Easy, don’t drink it too fast.” Nate murmured, “you’ll end up puking it back up.”

 

MacCready grumbled a bit but reluctantly put the can down, breathing heavily. Duncan was still hugging MacCready’s neck tightly, looking like he wouldn’t be letting go anytime soon, and MacCready clung to him just as firmly and still looking a bit dazed.

 

Nate quickly set to work on loosening the rusted bolts that held the grate, having to sort through a variety of tools including a metal saw and torch before he finally yanked it off with a rusty screech and dropped it with a clank. He scrambled into the pipe, where MacCready was already feebly reaching for him, and grabbed both man and child into a tight hug.

 

“How’d you find me?” MacCready choked out, “I kept hoping, but…”

 

“I found your hat!” Duncan piped in excitedly. “I was gonna start calling for you, but Mr Nate said to use our eyes not our voices and then I found you!”

 

“Thanks, buddy. I knew you’d have my back.” MacCready planted a kiss on Duncan’s head and raised a questioning eyebrow at Nate as he drew back, but he could only lift his shoulders in a helpless shrug. 

 

“He isn’t kidding, that’s pretty much exactly what happened.”

 

“I have so many questions.” MacCready groaned, attempting to sit up, and Nate reached out and helped him get upright where he wobbled, panting and still clinging to Duncan. “Some of which include how Duncan is now four hundred miles from where I last saw him, why Duncan is apparently wandering Boston with you, and why Duncan is _here_ in a storm drain instead of somewhere safe?!”

 

“I’m helping!” Duncan said indignantly before Nate could open his mouth. “Don’t be mad at Mr Nate! Miss Daisy said I had to go with him.”

 

“Miss… Daisy? What…” MacCready looked even more confused.

 

“It’s a long story.” Nate said guiltily. “I’m sorry, RJ, I didn’t mean to drag him into this. Let’s get you both out of here, and we’ll head back to Goodneighbor to get you properly taken care of before we head back to Diamond City.”

 

It took some maneuvering, especially since neither MacCready nor Duncan were willing to let go of the other, but Nate got them out of the pipe and got MacCready on his feet, where he swayed dangerously. Nate gave him another Stimpack, which helped stabilize him somewhat, but he was still weak from lack of food and water and Nate didn’t want to stop to make food and risk getting caught in the open, which MacCready agreed with.

 

“Goodneighbor isn’t far. Think you can make it?” Nate worriedly asked him. MacCready shakily nodded, but Nate stayed close, watching their surroundings while making sure MacCready wasn’t about to pass out on him.

 

“Hey! There he is!” A voice shouted alarmingly close, from the top of a nearby building.

 

“Oh, _shit_.” Nate flinched, checking his PipBoy just in time to see about eight red dots crop up.

 

“That’s not a nice word.” Duncan said reproachfully.

 

MacCready had already started trying to run, but wasn’t able to pick up much speed. He yelped as Nate scooped them up and started running.

 

They didn’t even make it half a block before Nate realized just how stupid he had been when he had insisted he would be fine to go out on his own the morning before. Piper and Nick had each offered to come to watch his back, but the idea had been too painful. Nate had been traveling near exclusively with MacCready for months, with only a couple breaks that had never been longer than week and always for good reason. He knew it was a stupid move to go out on his own, but he had found himself asking them to stay behind and keep looking and listening for any clues for what could have happened to MacCready. Word always got back to Diamond City, and Nate had wanted someone there that he could rely on to hear it.

 

Now, Nate was ready to kick himself. Having another person along to watch their backs was exactly what they needed right now. 

 

Shouts rang out behind them, followed by a few pot shots that sprayed the pavement around Nate’s feet before one hit him high in the calf. They all tumbled to the ground in a heap, Duncan landing with a yelp and MacCready with a groan and pinning most of Nate’s right side as they rolled to a stop. Pounding footsteps were getting closer, so Nate awkwardly went for his gun in his holster with his free left hand, trying to get free of the others without hurting them while MacCready covered Duncan with his own body.

 

He managed to get the gun out, but the ambushers were on top of them and a well-placed shot from a shotgun from one of them blew straight through his forearm just above his wrist, sending his pistol clattering to the pavement. Nate stared in shock at the ruined mess of his arm, unable to fully comprehend that the gore and pouring blood was coming from his own limb.

 

“Nate—” MacCready gasped in horror, just as he and Duncan were yanked away by a pair of the ambushers.

 

The pain suddenly hit Nate all at once, overwhelming and unbearable. He clutched the mangled arm to his chest with his other arm and couldn’t help the short, strangled scream that tore from him.

 

“Get his pack!” Someone was yelling over him, distantly. They rolled him onto his stomach and roughly pulled the pack off his back, uncaring of his injured arm, and he dry heaved facedown on the ground, stomach empty.

 

Nate’s awareness of his surroundings faded in and out, his senses completely overwhelmed by the agony that radiated from his arm. He heard MacCready shouting at one point, and then talking quieter, _pleadingly_ , and then he was there, rolling Nate onto his side, picking him up off the ground, and holding him tight. The pain nearly made Nate scream again, but it came out as an embarrassing whimper.

 

“It’s okay, Nate, just hang on, stay with me.” RJ was babbling over him, warm hand on his face before he was laid on his back on the ground and he helped him hold his arm together. “Duncan, just stay there, don’t look, it’s okay. Hey, _hey!_ He needs help! He needs a doctor, Stimpacks, Med-X, anything!”

 

Something was tied tightly around his left forearm, and then tightened even further, making Nate arch his back off the ground and try to draw away from the further pain but MacCready held him firm by the shoulder. Pressure was put on the wound in his calf, briefly reminding him of its existence before the pain of his arm took over again. Nate rapidly blinked up at the sky, breath wheezing, then found MacCready, pale faced and looking terrified.

 

“What a shit show!” Someone was ranting nearby. “We was supposed to take him alive if we could! Does he look like he’s going to stay alive?! Good job, you bunch of morons!”

 

“There’s Stimpacks, and Med-X, and everything we need right there in his pack!” MacCready yelled at whoever was ranting. “We can keep him alive!”

 

“Shut the hell up!” Someone else brutally hit MacCready in the head to shut him up, and Nate reached for him with a worried cry but MacCready shook it off and whispered assurances to him. Nate tried to sit up, and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

When the world came back, he was propped up against a cold, curved wall and leaning against MacCready, shivering and feeling like he was going to be sick. He could feel a small hand on his cheek, and he opened his eyes to see an exhausted looking MacCready still clutching Duncan while asleep, and Duncan watching him worriedly.

 

“Mr Nate?” Duncan whispered. Not trusting his voice, Nate weakly attempted to lift his right hand to pat Duncan’s hand, but found that MacCready was already holding it. His left arm ached abominably, but his hand was numb. “Are you okay?”

 

“Mmhmm.” Nate mumbled, probably not very reassuringly.

 

“Don’t die, Mr Nate.” Duncan told him in a serious manner. “I think it would make my dad sad.”

 

Nate managed to quirk a smile at him and rasped, “I’ll do my best.”

 

His voice must have roused MacCready, because the merc jolted awake and squeezed the hand he held while blearily looking around.

 

“Nate? You’re awake?”

 

Gunfire suddenly rang out above them, distant pops and yelling, including some familiar voices.

 

“That’s Nick, and Garvey,” MacCready gasped, then yelled upwards, his voice echoing strangely, “here! We’re down here!”

 

“What’s happening?” Nate slurred, but MacCready jostled him as he staggered upright and a burst of pain made everything fade out again.

 

Nate woke up in the middle of being lifted out of the drain system, the makeshift rope sling digging in and hurting like hell, and he tried to grab onto the rope with a bloodstained and dirty hand to try and take some of the pressure off. He could hear multiple voices talking to him and each other, calling instructions and soothing words, but the fog in his brain made it impossible to decipher what was being said. Sunlight hit his face and he flinched, squinting and moving his hand to shade his eyes instead, then he was grabbed and being pulled out of the hole and laid on the ground.

 

Piper was there, and Nick, Cait, and Preston, as well as a few Minutemen milling in the background.

 

“RJ, Dunc’,” Nate tried to move, and actually felt his eyes start to roll back in his head just as he passed out again.

 

He knew he was being carried, but by who and where to was beyond him. Something warm was draped over him, but he was so _cold_ , like all the warmth had been leached from his bones. He could feel the warm sunlight from time to time, but it flickered in and out as if they walked through streets with tall buildings. Someone took his right wrist, often, feeling for the pulse there, before squeezing his hand tightly. He thought he knew who it was, but couldn’t open his eyes or even squeeze the hand back.

 

The next thing he knew, Doc Sun was leaning over him, roughly patting his cheek.

 

“Do you hear me? Are you understanding what I’m saying?”

 

Nate started with a grunt, grimacing as aches and pains made themselves known, although not nearly as sharp as he remembered them being. He looked around in confusion, and realized Cait and MacCready were there, Cait practically propping MacCready upright while he held Nate’s hand and looked at the Doc with a stricken expression.

 

Doc Sun pulled his attention back with a shake.

 

“I’m still working on getting you a blood transfusion, but work with me here and pay attention. I have to amputate your hand and part of your arm. There’s too much damage, and infection has set in already. Even if I could patch it up, you’d never regain use of that hand. You understand?”

 

It took a long moment for his words to sink in, and when they did Nate thought he must be joking, even huffing a ghost of a laugh, but then he remembered this was Sun and just how bad his arm had looked. He looked at MacCready again and confirmed just by looking at his face that this was no joke, and a knot of dread and horror began to grow in his chest.

 

“Oh, _f-fuck_ , no.” He burst out, trying to lift his head to look at his arm and the damage for himself. “Can’t you just— just Stimpack it— or— or _something_?”

 

“Ah yes, why didn’t I, the doctor, think of that?” Doc Sun said sarcastically. “Yes, let me just get the magical Stimpack that grows back veins and muscle and skin from all that tissue that _isn’t there anymore_ and then I’ll just—”

 

“We get the picture!” MacCready raised his voice to interrupt without actually yelling, glaring daggers at Sun now. “Just— Just give me a minute with him, okay?”

 

Doc Sun backed off in a huff but without another word.

 

“Listen to your boyfriend, Nate.” Cait ordered as she sat MacCready on the edge of the gurney he was laying on. “I don’t want to have to beat some sense into you meself.”

 

MacCready shot her a warning look, but she left. 

 

“RJ, what is going _on_?” Nate whimpered, still trying to look at his arm, but MacCready cupped his face in both hands to force him to look at him. Nate really looked at MacCready then; saw how tired and pale he was under the dirt and grime, and how scared he was. Another terrifying thought struck him. “Where’s Duncan? Is he okay?”

 

“He’s fine, Nate. Piper and Nat took him, he’s off playing with the other kids.” MacCready assured him, voice breaking. “I still can’t— I can’t believe he’s really here. He told me a little bit about what happened, but he’s five. I think the story’s a little muddled. But we can talk about it later. You gotta listen to me. Doc Sun is not messing around. Your arm— it’s bad, okay? A Stimpack isn’t going to fix this, fifty Stimpacks isn’t going to fix this. No, stop, listen. Please, Nate. You gotta trust the doc on this. Please.” MacCready pleaded. 

 

Nate stopped trying to sit up but could only look at MacCready for a moment, heart racing in fear. He couldn’t really understand; his left forearm ached, but he couldn’t even feel any pain in his hand. How could it be that bad?

 

“How… how much?” Nate finally asked, dreading the answer. MacCready didn’t look like he was looking any more forward to the answer, but he did answer, using his own left forearm to mark off about five inches below the elbow. 

 

Nate just breathed, trying to process that.

 

MacCready’s brow suddenly wrinkled, his eyes even more pained. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been ambushed, if you hadn’t had to come after me, this wouldn’t have happened.”

 

“It’s not your fault.” Nate said immediately, automatically, but he found the rest of the words easily as well. “I would have come, even if I had known this would happen.”

 

“Don’t say that.” MacCready said harshly. “It’s not your job to try to make me feel better right now. It _is_ my fault, even if I was just being a bumbling idiot, walking into a trap.”

 

“I don’t care, RJ. I mean what I said.” Nate said, and realized it was true.

 

MacCready let out a shaky, disbelieving laugh. “Well, I’m glad you don’t hate me, but we still need to talk about this. It’s… it’s like he said. It’s bad, and there’s infection, and… and it’s not going to get better. I think you need to listen to Doc Sun.”

 

Nate tried to imagine life in the Commonwealth without his left hand, and shuddered at the thought. Reloading weapons would be difficult if not impossible, building turrets and other fussy devices would be nightmarish, even simple jobs such as gardening or cleaning weapons would be difficult one handed.

 

“I’m scared, RJ.” Nate whispered, the full reality of the situation finally sinking in. He realized he couldn’t feel any pain in his hand because he couldn’t feel his hand at all. He was losing his arm. He hadn’t seen many major amputees in the Commonwealth, and he suspected it was because they didn’t last long, but was it due to injury complications or the vulture-like nature of the post-Great War people? “I don’t know if I can… What if I don’t…”

 

“Whatever comes, we’re going to figure out together, alright? I love you, Nate. Losing your arm… it doesn’t matter, okay? I don’t want to lose _you_. We’ll adjust. I’m with you, whatever comes next.” MacCready made sure to catch his eye, and Nate saw that he was dead serious. Nate’s eyes started watering, threatening to overflow. “Aw, come on, don’t cry now. Sun is gonna think I bullied you.”

 

Nate sniffed but gave him a watery smile before speaking, wanting to say more but getting the difficult words out before he could change his mind again. “Okay. Tell Doc okay. Go ahead with it.”

 

MacCready sighed in relief even as his brow furrowed further with worry, and he pressed a kiss to Nate’s forehead but Nate dragged him down for a proper one, desperation fueling him as he clung to MacCready’s jacket.

 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” MacCready said when they finally broke apart, panting, somehow knowing exactly what Nate was thinking. “Doc Sun is one of the best around. He knows what he’s doing. You’re gonna be fine.”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Nate shakily nodded, trying to calm his racing heart, then remembered what else he had wanted to say. “Hey, RJ, I really am sorry I dragged Duncan into that mess. As soon as he found your hat I should have turned around and took him back to Daisy before trying to find you. I just… I couldn’t stand the thought of you maybe being _right there_ , I couldn’t help but look around, but it was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

 

MacCready looked startled, then a grin crooked the corner of his mouth. “That’s funny, ‘cuz according to Duncan _he’s_ the one who found me.” He sighed and looked out towards Power Noodles, and Nate followed his gaze and spotted Duncan chasing Nat and another kid. “I’m not happy that he ended up there, but he made it through. You kept him safe. You pulled us both out of there.”

 

“No, I didn’t, the others rescued us.” Nate said before losing it, tears suddenly rolling down his cheeks. MacCready grabbed him in a tight hug, and Nate buried his face in the crook of his neck and clung to him as he shook. “Oh, _God_ , what if I can’t do this… this ‘Sole Survivor’ thing anymore? What if I can’t do any of it anymore?”

 

His heart was still racing, and it was getting harder to get enough air.

 

“Nate, we’ll take it as it comes. Calm down.” MacCready rubbed soothing circles on his back, and Nate distantly heard him yell for Doc Sun.

 

An oxygen mask was placed over his face, and he felt a needle slide into his right arm.

 

“RJ,” he gasped, and felt a warm hand take his.

 

“I’m right here.” He heard as everything started going dark, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

***

 

Nate jerked awake and lay gasping, looking at the ceiling and trying to remember where he was. A warm body moved next to him with a sleepy groan, and a strong arm slid across his chest before MacCready subsided again.

 

Nate’s breathing and heart rate began to calm, and he closed his eyes as he reached up to place his hand over MacCready’s arm.

 

They were at Home Plate in Diamond City, he remembered now. Duncan was asleep in his bed downstairs near the warm stove, and it was their third night there since their escapade.

 

“You okay?” MacCready mumbled groggily, not quite awake yet. “Is it your arm?”

 

“Just a— just a nightmare.” Nate opened his eyes again to look at the Quantum Nuka glowing faintly on the shelf nearby. “Sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep.”

 

MacCready rolled over to stretch before returning to drape himself over his side again, his shared body warmth welcome in the cool night air. Nate thought he had fallen asleep again before he spoke.

 

“Tell me about it? I mean, if you want.”

 

Nate swallowed, and had to think about how much of it he remembered.

 

“It started with the day the bombs fell.” Nate started slowly, keeping his voice low so he wouldn’t wake Duncan. “Nora had Shaun, and we were standing on the elevator into the Vault waiting for it to go down, just like that day. It happened like I remembered, the blinding light, and that sound… but then the elevator went down and we were safe. But when it got to the bottom, it wasn’t the Vault, it was here, the Commonwealth. And everyone that was on the elevator with me was dead. Nora was still holding Shaun, and they were both just… dead.”

 

He felt MacCready’s arm tighten a fraction around him, but he continued.

 

“Dogmeat suddenly came out of nowhere, barking and just losing his mind, and I knew I was missing something, that I had to find something, so I followed him into Boston, but the streets weren’t right and everything was so wrong, and then I lost Dogmeat, and I had no idea where I was, so I started running but I hit a dead end that had a dead body that I thought was Nora, but when I got there and turned them over it was actually you, and then I woke up.”

 

Nate finished in a rush and covered his face with his hand, overwhelmed by the intensity of the emotion that the dream had left behind.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just a dream.” MacCready peppered the part of his face that wasn’t covered with his hand with kisses.

 

“It’s probably these pills Sun has me taking, he said they have side effects like this,” Nate said apologetically, wiping his eyes before putting his arm down. “Sorry.”

 

“Stop apologizing.” MacCready placed his hand on Nate’s cheek in the near darkness and used his thumb to wipe away the moisture there. “Don’t apologize to me for this. You know this isn’t the first time either of us have woken the other with our messed up nightmares, and it won’t be the last. Even Duncan wakes up screaming some nights. It happens to all of us.”

 

Nate slid his arm under MacCready’s neck and they embraced, cuddling close and getting further under the covers.

 

“Think you can sleep again?” MacCready drowsily asked. “Or you need something to drink? I meant water, but if whiskey works…”

 

“Back to sleep.” Nate kissed him on the forehead. “Love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

***

 

“Dad, watch this!” Duncan yelled, and MacCready turned just in time to see him take out a can with his slingshot.

 

“Nice one, buddy!” Nate whooped and MacCready gave him two thumbs up with a wide grin. Duncan excitedly jumped up and down before running to set his target back up, while MacCready turned back to what he was doing.

 

“He’s gonna be outshooting you.” Nate observed, watching Duncan run back and look for another rock for his slingshot.

 

“I can only hope so.” MacCready grinned. “Here, hold still.”

 

“Yes, mom.” Nate sighed, then yelped when MacCready punched him in the hip. “Ow!”

 

“Don’t be a baby, I barely touched you. Okay, this one here, and this one here,” MacCready talked to himself as he buckled the straps and fussed around with the snugness, then made sure the clips were properly secured, “there, how’s that feel?”

 

He stepped back and casually leaned against a low wall, made sure that Duncan was still happily entertained and settled to watch while Nate checked out his new thigh belt holster, specially made and sporting his quick-load magazines for his pistol. Nate checked his stride and made sure nothing would come loose, then drew his pistol from his shoulder holster, ejected the clip and tried out his new method of loading by using his thigh and new holster instead of his missing left hand. It wasn’t smooth, but he managed.

 

“I definitely need some practice, but I like it.” He grinned at MacCready, one of the brightest and genuine grins he could remember seeing in what felt like a long time. “This was a great idea. Thank you.”

 

“It was definitely worth it, just to see you smile like that again.” MacCready said.

 

“Those have been few and far between lately, haven’t they.” Nate admitted, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing down at his rolled up and hemmed left sleeve. 

 

Nate still needed his arm stump wrapped for protection, but it was completely healed now thanks to Doc Sun and a mess of Stimpacks. They had made their way back to Sanctuary after about a week of recovery in Diamond City, and despite Nate’s protests and insistence that he was fine it was an arduous journey with many breaks and even an overnight stop in Greygarden, which did not normally happen on that particular trip. MacCready kindly blamed the slowness and amount of breaks on Duncan, (who had been enamoured with all the robots at Greygarden, much to MacCready’s chagrin) but Nate had needed the time just as much if not more than the child. By the time they arrived in Sanctuary, Nate had a fever again and his arm was swollen and irritated looking. Curie had had a field day with him, fussing over him and pushing medication and rest on him for days afterwards much to Nate’s annoyance, but MacCready had just been relieved that they had gotten lucky enough to have her around.

 

Even though Nate’s recovery until now had only taken a few short weeks, it hadn’t been easy on him. MacCready could see that he had lost weight and muscle; his cheeks a little more gaunt, his belts tightened a notch, the dark circles under his eyes looking darker.

 

“Things to smile about have been few and far between lately.” MacCready corrected with a shrug. “I think it’s gonna get better from here, though.”

 

Nate just looked at him for a moment, a goofy smile on his face, and he put his gun back in it’s holster.

 

“You know what?” Nate said, “C’mere.”

 

“What, you’re not even going to practise now?” MacCready was surprised, but Nate came to stand in front of him and took his hand, suddenly looking a little nervous. MacCready’s mouth went dry.

 

“Look, RJ, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I was going to plan something, but this is feeling pretty right.”

 

“Uh…” MacCready was wide eyed, and pretty sure he knew where this was going, but did _Nate_ know what he was doing?

 

“RJ, you’ve been following me all over the Commonwealth for over a year now. Didn’t matter what fresh hell I was dragging you through, you were always right there, watching my back and giving me a smack of common sense when I needed it. It didn’t take me long to fall for you, hard. I love you, RJ, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Would you… will you marry me?”

 

MacCready’s breath caught as Nate pulled a ring out of his pocket, and he felt a grin spreading across his face as he pulled Nate closer. “You’re sure you want to upgrade the sniper boyfriend to sniper husband?”

 

“Oh, hell, yes.” Nate breathed. “What about it?

 

“Well, we’ll have to run it by Duncan…” They looked over at the boy, who was lining up another shot with his slingshot, one eye squeezed shut and his tongue sticking out, “but he likes you, so should be in the clear.”

 

“You’re killing me, RJ.” Nate groaned. “Does that mean…?”

 

MacCready put his arms around Nate’s neck and took pity on him. “Yes, Nate. All those times I’ve told you I’m with you ‘til the end? I meant it. I… I’ve thought about this too.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. You just beat me to it.” MacCready grinned as Nate slipped the ring onto his finger. “I don’t have a ring for you, though.”

 

“Well, I did spring this on you. And I… I am kinda missing the proper hand for it.” Nate sheepishly indicated his left arm.

 

“Nate, from what I remember reading in the books, marriage was a pretty big deal Pre-War, with signed contracts that got filed at government buildings and bla bla bla,” MacCready started, taking his hand.

 

“Wait, you read stuff like that?” Nate asked in confusion, but MacCready barreled on over him like he hadn’t heard him.

 

“...but then bombs fell and blew all of that up, and people nowadays generally just decide who they love and make a go of it together, usually without any fancy gifts or parties. So what I’m trying to say is, I’ll put a ring on your finger and whatever hand it is, it’ll be the proper hand.” 

 

Nate’s eyes were glistening a bit, but he was still grinning. “RJ, you say the nicest things in the meanest tones of voice…”

 

“Shut up and kiss me, you idiot,” MacCready growled, and tugged him in for a kiss.

 

“Augh, cooties!” Duncan shrieked from nearby, and MacCready pulled back with a surprised sputter while Nate burst out laughing.

 

“I forgot we had an audience for a second there,” Nate admitted, still laughing, and MacCready couldn’t help but start laughing as well, and extracted himself from Nate’s embrace to chase his son down.

 

“I’ll show you cooties!” MacCready yelled, catching a giggling and shrieking Duncan and blowing a wet raspberry on his belly.

 

“Ah, surrender! Surrender!” Duncan tried to wriggle free, but when MacCready let him up the boy turned around and jumped on his back and mock strangled him with a triumphant cry.

 

“Ack, ya got me again.” MacCready pretended to go down, laying in the dirt while Duncan whooped. “Hey, why don’t you show me what you can do with that slingshot some more?”

 

While Duncan ran to get set up again, MacCready glanced over to see Nate watching them with a fond expression. MacCready pointed at Nate’s new holster and mouthed ‘you should practise’, and rolled his eyes when Nate mouthed back ‘yes, mom’, but Nate went over to their shooting range and drew his pistol again while MacCready kept watch on Duncan while glancing over at him.

 

Nate practised ejecting the clip from his pistol and slamming in the next one, getting a little smoother and faster every time, and eventually moved on to shooting, managing to shoot three of the six cans that he had set up on the fence. Of course, Duncan went running with a shout, eager to see and wanting to have a try at it himself, bringing a rueful smile to MacCready’s face as he chased after.

 

“Hey,” Nate said as he walked up, “I think you were right about things getting better from here.”


End file.
